With the Internet as a daily staple in our lives, it may seem like we talk about everything and no topic considered off limits. However, when we take a closer look, most of our discussions are about nothing. Or, at least, not about anything substantial. Most people are more interested in popular topics than anything serious—just scroll through social media to witness countless examples of this. As a result, what important discussions are being ignored or avoided?
The most Googled searches over the last few months were eBook, YouTube, Amazon, weather, Walmart, Gmail, Home Depot, Target, and food near me. So, clearly Google isn’t being used as often to develop facts, evaluate different positions, or examine alternatives.
In general, we have built barriers and social taboos that limit discussion on critical topics, such as:
Sex may be a great conservational topic, but there are few discussions of practices especially after one has experienced puberty. The New York Times had an interesting article about sex among older people. One recounted story was about an aid entering a client’s room in a retirement home and finding two people romantically engaged. Being highly embarrassed and assuming something was improper, he asked his supervisor what should he do and was told to leave quietly and leave the door shut behind him. It reminds me of the saying, “It’s only awkward if you make it awkward.” And we’ve certainly made the topic of sex awkward with our own social constructs.
Politics receives a lot of attention, but there is very little constructive debate. In fact, many encounters start with rules about being polite and avoiding conflict. It is clear some of our leaders are even struggling to say nice things about some recent politicians who have passed away. This isn’t to say people need to get into fights, but there doesn’t seem to be any effort (or ability) to have constructive conversations anymore.
Intelligence has even become controversial. We have even elevated emotional IQ to avoid discussing if someone is actually smart. Evidently, it is acceptable to discuss if someone is a jerk, but not to discuss if they are halfway intelligent. Universities are reducing reliance on SAT scores for college admission. However, there are few discussions of what will replace it or the impact of the changes. Similarly, no one is talking about changing any of the other factors that bias the admission process.
Religion is consistently a controversial topic. Personally, I don’t understand how people can pray for God to help their baseball team or how God decides which team to root for. Similarly, using religion as means to avoid vaccination doesn’t seem like a valid excuse.
Finances are also typically avoided. The only probability is that people who are making money will talk about it and others won’t or are trying to figure out how much others are making. Notice how financial conversations have changed in 2022 seeing that the market has not done as well as previous years.
Even when we understand events, we are reluctant to discuss cause and effect. Facts are frequently more independent that we think. Too often, bias distorts positions and facts. We sometimes assume that the relationship among factors is a straight line. However, most relationships involve a variety of factors.
Entrepreneurs are often superb at describing how they perceive their company as different. Typically, the best sections of business plans are the description of the product or service and the expertise the members behind the business bring to the overall team. On the other hand, the weakest parts of the same business plans are, consistently, the competitive analysis, the market research, the marketing plans, and the distribution plans. See the chart below:
When we don’t take the time to talk through important issues, a lot goes unaccounted for. Committing to participating in open discussions can often shed light on critical aspects that may otherwise have been overlooked and, thus, save you from unnecessary frustration and extra work in the end.
One area where discussion is rampant and welcomed is sports. People love and accept criticism of their favorite teams. New York fans even support me in rooting for my Chicago teams. What makes this topic fair game for discussion? There is just as much passion, emotional attachment, and loyalty to sports teams as political parties. Yet, unlike politics, we don’t tiptoe around criticism and debate when it comes to sports.
Crime is another topic that is discussed often, but with very little substance. A few months ago, the big rant was about defunding the police. After recent violence, it is back to law and order, but little attention has been given to causes, analysis, or solutions. Similarly, there is no real effort to enact gun control or criminal justice legislation.
All of this is to say, we need more open discussion and should not avoid uncomfortable issues. Recently, a colleague of mine passed away. I will always remember our open discussions. We frequently had heated debates about difficult issues and, as a result, we developed some great solutions that were mutually beneficial. A heated discussion can still be respectful, productive, and produce positive results. Consider what topics you avoid and why. Engaging in these conversations could unlock new areas of growth and success—both professionally and personally.
Dr. Bert Shlensky, President of www.startupconnection.net, offers experience, skills, and a team devoted to developing and executing winning strategies. We guide your plans for business success and unlock your profits.Our strategy includes clear steps, and over 150 free articles and templates to facilitate your efforts and guide your process. We’re here to help you get on track and stay there as you move forward.
We welcome comments, suggestions, and questions. You can write us at: bshlensky@startupconnection.net or call at 914-632-6977
“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.” —Stephen R. Covey
We’ve all been guilty of it at one point or another. We get so caught up in thinking about what we’re going to say next, that we fail to listen to what is being said. But, when we don’t work on being a better listener, we rob ourselves of the opportunity to connect with others, gain valuable information, and truly engage in the conversation. So many miscommunications result from a failure to be a good listener and really take in what is being said.
Meanwhile, most of us consider ourselves to be good listeners, when in reality, we could all probably benefit from improving our listening skills. And, acknowledging that we need to be a better listener is the first step.
Here are some examples of how poor listening occurs:
There is no question that there is more communication than ever today and that listening requires more attention, and prioritization. Many of us receive some combination of more than 100 emails, 2-3 hours of TV, 3-5 hours of interaction with a computer, read numerous books, magazines, blogs, and other papers, 1-2 hours of phone conversations, 1-2 hours with social media, 1-2 hours of podcasts, 2-3 hours of meetings, and even a little social time with our family and friends. It’s a lot to take in. How much do we hear and actually take in?
There is no escaping the fact that biases affect our attitudes and perceptions of individuals and information. While it is frequently associated with demographics, it is really much more pervasive. Aware of the fact that preconceived notions (either of a person or the content being discussed) have a dramatic effect on audience members’ understanding and acceptance of information, many presenters work to actively create positive perceptions.
One of the most significant aspects affecting listening is our perception of information. For example, I believe people don’t take enough risk. How much freedom do you allow innovative people to break rules? When do you provide support versus challenging subordinates and colleagues? While there may be analytical solutions to some of these, our predispositions are frequently more important in determining how we respond. Instead of asking questions, being a better listener, and learning more about an unconventional idea, we respond with resistance, usually because it feels safer than taking a chance.
The parameters of listening are constantly changing. New tools like Zoom, targeting, social media, etc. are constantly evolving while old ones decline. I am an original AOL customer who received a disk in the mail (how many of you even remember that?) and am in panic that AOL may cease to exist. However, that creates some great opportunities for companies who want to make mostly older customers feel comfortable—that is, if they’re listening to those concerns.
People love to talk, but hate to listen. Becoming a better listener is not merely not talking (though even that is beyond most of our powers); it means taking a vigorous human interest in what is being said. You can listen like a blank wall or like a splendid auditorium where every sound comes back fuller and richer.
We frequently debate the validity, objectivity, and bias of ineffective listening. However, simply recognizing its existence and making an effort to understand how we can improve is more important. We need to consider the problems and develop solutions.
Want to be a better listener and communicator? Try some of these suggestions:
Repeat back what you think you heard. This tactic gives the speaker the chance to repeat themselves if you misheard.
Follow Internet courtesy and practices. What we hear is greatly affected by the nature of the communication. Sending inappropriate emails by mistake is not a good practice, but happens all the time. Be courteous and brief. Target the right people and sites. YouTube, Facebook, and LinkedIn have quite different audiences and impacts. Ensure recipients are getting messages rather than creating spam or complex links.
Keep things interesting. In general, the audience, whether on the Internet or in person, forms its perceptions of a presentation in the first 90 seconds. As an admitted nerd, my presentations can be a little statistic heavy, which can translate as boring. Thus, I try to improve audience reception through tools like editors, comedy, stories, and pictures.
Keep the audience comfortable. Environmental issues can be the most ignored factor in communication. Licensing agreements, celebrity endorsements, and great environments are all designed to make the audience comfortable with presentations. Frequently, seminars are created with crowded schedules to justify the expense of taking people away from work. However, a poor technical speaker at 1:30 p.m. in an over extended morning session or at 5:30 p.m. after an all day session is most likely going to be ineffective. Research shows that serving food and not being the last presenter help to improve the impression you make on your audience. At one company, we had a motto for our presentations and meetings: “FOOD WORKS.” Fruit and penny candy are truly unheralded aids in making a great presentation.
Try to create a “WIN-WIN” environment when communicating. We all know positive feedback is received more favorably and, yet, we revert to criticism, blame, and a one-upping mentality in pressure situations. We seem to follow the common TV format of adversarial commentators that frequently provide more confusion than resolution. Try to keep things positive, constructive, and remember to strive for compromise.
The value of being a better listener is undeniable. It’s a skill and skills require practice and development. Understanding the purpose, content, and importance of communication can also help you improve outcomes. Because, let’s face it, communication is the key to a lot of things including relationships, business, and success.
Dr. Bert Shlensky, President of www.startupconnection.net, offers experience, skills, and a team devoted to developing and executing winning strategies. We guide your plans for business success and unlock your profits. Our process includes clear steps, and over 150 free articles and templates to facilitate your efforts and guide your process. We’re here to help you get on track and stay there as you move forward. We welcome comments, suggestions, and questions. You can write us at: bshlensky@startupconnection.net or call at 914-632-6977
Imagine waking up and being excited about going to work.
What would it take for that to happen? Perhaps a boss who understood your
needs? Coworkers who were easy to collaborate with? Clear communication between
departments? A challenging, but manageable workload? Good pay, benefits, and
some fun office perks like free lunches? In short, most of us require a work
environment that supports our needs while encouraging productivity in order to
be happy and successful in our jobs. Employee satisfaction relies heavily on
company culture.
Establishing a successful culture is crucial for the overall
progress of any company and maintaining a positive atmosphere with clear
expectations is essential to facilitating employee performance. A great
strategy that lacks a supportive culture is sure to fail, while an environment
where people feel they are being given the recourses to excel will result in a
much higher success rate.
So, how do you create a successful culture?
Encourage
Communication
Surprise! When everyone is on the same page, things run more
smoothly! Set goals and develop strategies to achieve them. And then share those with your teams.
Inclusive environments foster a stronger sense of belonging, which can increase
performance.
Accept Failure
It’s inevitable. Acknowledging that fact from the beginning
enables everyone to get over their “fear” of it happening. If employees know
they will be supported when it happens, they’ll be more likely to take
(appropriate) risks, which can lead to innovation. When people are afraid, they
can’t perform to their full potential, as fear is one of the leading factors
that holds us back and prevents us from trying new things.
Look for the Positive
We’ve all felt what it’s like to work with/around negative
people—their energy sucks everyone else down to their level. We feed off of
those around us. Create an atmosphere where everyone lifts one another up. Finger
pointing and attempting to place blame is never productive. When a problem
arises, work to find a solution. When mistakes happen, look for the lesson to
be learned and grow. Everyone will be better for it. A culture that focuses on
learning from mistakes will always be more equipped to deal with them when they
arise.
Provide Assistance
Make sure employees have the resources they need to succeed.
That may mean providing additional training, one-on-one feedback, updated
equipment/software, or extending deadlines. Understand your employees’ needs
and let them know they can rely on you to back them up.
Ensure Employees Have
a Voice
This can be as simple as a suggestion box where employees can
anonymously provide feedback. The key here, however, is that all suggestions
must be thoroughly considered. Just allowing people voice their
thoughts/opinions/concerns isn’t enough. Their suggestions must be
appropriately addressed as well.
Treat People Equally
and Individually
This might sound contradictory, but it simply means that,
while everyone should be treated fairly and equally, their individual needs also
need to be taken into consideration. Some might need more supervision or verbal
encouragement while others thrive being left with complete autonomy on a
project.
Bring Back Basics
We all want to be respected, appreciated, and acknowledged.
Be kind and remember that a simple, “Thank you,” goes a long way. And don’t
forget to have some fun. Sure, it’s work, but we all like to have fun while
doing it. Have a company picnic, organize a holiday party, or join an
intramural sport with coworkers. The more you bond outside of work, the
stronger the team will be at work.
Obviously, each environment is unique and the type of
culture you cultivate will be specific to the needs of your individual
organization. While a majority of these examples are universal, it’s up to you
to decide what culture will work best for the success of your company.
Poll:
Which aspect of work
culture is most important to you?
(Please let us know
in the comments!)
Work/life balance
Benefits package (health care, PTO)
Flexible hours
Positive/likable coworkers
Feeling challenged
Dr. Bert Shlensky, president of Startup Connection ( www.startupconection.net ) is a graduate of Sloan School of Management at M.I.T. He served as the president of WestPoint Pepperell’s apparel fabrics business as well as the President & CEO of Sure Fit Products. Having provided counseling to over 2,000 clients, his focus is on working with select startups and small businesses.
“He didn’t even say thank you…” The indignation that we feel when people don’t mind their Ps and Qs is very telling of how our words and actions (or lack thereof) affect those around us. In a work setting, this often manifests as appreciation or respect. When someone simply acknowledges or thanks you for your work, it goes a long way. Employees who feel appreciated tend to perform better and have a stronger sense of fulfillment in their jobs overall. It only makes sense, then, that support and positive feedback are essential in order for a business to grow, increase productivity, and experience positive change.
While providing a coworker with a quick “Great work” is always a morale boost, a shift in mindset and a restructuring of business practices may be necessary before you can truly enact significant change. Establishing a support culture can increase productivity and create an environment where conflict is replaced with respect.
Here are a few key elements to creating Support Culture:
Acknowledge and address
disequilibrium.
The most apparent solution is to simply be aware of any dilemma
that arises and consider the implications. Change generally does not occur
unless there is a need, a conflict, or some sort of imbalance. When one of
these exists, we frequently attempt to squash it quickly to avoid change.
However, when conflict is approached with an open mind, the commitment to entertaining
varying opinions with respect, and a willingness to discuss, we open the door
to possibilities and solutions that we may have otherwise overlooked. In
collaborative settings, this encourages communication and compromise as
participants feel supported knowing that everyone’s best interest is being
considered.
Understand the culture and participants.
What
motivates one person will not inspire everyone. We’re all influenced by innumerable
factors including upbringing, past experiences, and innate qualities. For
example, some people are more left-brain, technical thinkers while others are
right-brain, creative types. These people will have different approaches to
doing the same task and that’s okay. Respect that everyone learns differently
and thrives in varying environments. Honor each individual’s strengths and your
team will be stronger for it.
Organizations
need that variety, as productivity is a result of support and encouragement
combined with the appropriate tools and direction. A great example is how sports
coaches often use a mixture of motivational techniques accompanied by hard work
to get players to reach their full potential.
This
approach only works, however, if you know your audience. Once, during a
planning meeting, in which several finance employees were arguing about how to
improve EBITA, the creative head (who was incredibly talented and somewhat
eccentric) asked, “What’s an EBITA? It sounds like an animal.” The takeaway
here is that we must consider our listeners and respect their background and
point of view. When we try to solve problems without taking everyone’s
perspective into account, we risk misunderstandings. We often get so caught up
thinking our own ideas and opinions are the best that we ignore how the
perceptions of others’ will alter our effectiveness. When you know where
someone is coming from, you better understand how to most appropriately and
effectively support them.
Avoid confirmation bias.
Age, status, education, and reputation of the listener and
communicator can all dramatically affect our perceptions. When we make
assumptions about someone based on these sorts of qualifiers, we either
consciously or subconsciously become biased. And it’s nearly impossible to
genuinely support
someone you’re bias toward.
Whether it’s a positive or negative inference, we jump to
conclusions without all of the facts. If you rely on a GPS system that suggests the fastest route, but does
not include traffic, accidents, or construction related detours in its
directions, your bias is misinformed. Frequently, we underestimate the
importance of analytical information or fail to consider things like experience
when communicating alternatives among different groups. It’s important to know
what your biases are and accept that, while we all have them, it is also our
responsibility to challenge the way we’ve been conditioned to think.
Focus on a “WIN-WIN” approach when communicating.
We all know
positive feedback is received more favorably and, yet, how often do we revert
to criticism, blame, or a “one-upping” mindset when we find ourselves in
pressure situations. Support and encouragement are essential to innovation. It’s
important to create and maintain a positive atmosphere where people feel safe
sharing ideas.
Avoid
negative talk and never enter a discussion with the goal of “winning.” It’s not
about winning or losing; the purpose of communication is to share ideas and come
to an agreement on the best solution—whether that’s through compromise or one
party acknowledging that, this time around, perhaps their way isn’t the best
approach.
I like to
refer to Sheryl Sandberg’s advice about establishing an encouraging environment
where people feel confident enough to consider the question, “What would
you do if you weren’t afraid?” When we feel supported, we’re able to let go of
inhibitions. That’s when we’re free enough to experiment and throw out “crazy”
ideas without the fear of failing or being ridiculed. Because those “crazy”
ideas are usually where innovation is born. Similarly, we should look at
mistakes, and even failure, as learning experiences rather than defeats.
Frequently, those frustrations also lead to inspiration.
Be inclusive.
Inclusion
always yields a sense of camaraderie and support. When it comes to
administration, I highly recommend Tom Peters’ “Management by Walking Around.” It
advocates for a more relaxed atmosphere where there is less of a separation
between “bosses” and “subordinates.” It suggests that employees are more
productive in environments that encourage cooperation over intimidation.
Examples of this include informal meetings, going to a coworker’s office
instead of demanding they come to yours, open office space with collaborative
workspaces, and more face-to-face time.
Communicate openly.
Organizations
and individuals who communicate openly are more successful. Keeping everyone
informed inspires a sense of belonging and results in increased productivity.
The old mentality of maintaining exclusivity amongst execs is inefficient and only
fuels a sense of separation. The more people know, the more effective they can
be.
Respectfully manage individuality.
There are always going to be eccentrics who need to be managed differently. Similarly there will be people who need more direction. Learn to appreciate and utilize everyone’s varying skillsets. This may mean giving more freedom to creatives who produce their best work at odd hours or being stricter with employees who thrive under pressure and deadlines. You will also need to address issues of under performance. However, the main point to remember here is to approach all situations with a sense of empathy and respect. When you approach people with a desire and intent to help, they’re much more inclined to be receptive to feedback and help your business increase productivity.
Mind Your Ps and Qs.
This is the most obvious and yet, too frequently, forgotten. The
easiest way to show support and appreciation is through simple words of
acknowledgement like “please,” “thank you,” and “nice job.” Remembering and
using people’s names or referencing a detail you discussed in a previous
conversation goes a long way. Letting people know they are seen and being heard
is one of the highest forms of respect. We all know how good it feels to be on
the receiving end of that.
Establishing a strong sense of respect between customers, suppliers, and coworkers is a critical
component of success. And while it takes constant effort, it is relatively
inexpensive. A great starting point is to simply check in with yourself and ask
if you’re making a consistent effort to see things from others’ point of view
and understand where they are coming from. How much more efficient and
compassionate would we be if we applied this mentality to all aspects of our
lives?
Dr. Bert Shlensky, President of The Startup Connection, offers guidance to help small business achieve maximum sales and profit. He utilizes his 40 years of high-quality experience to launch your business to the next level via technological, social, and online integration. Call or email to setup a free consultation:
When you want to stand out, reach out to Bert for the tools that will build your “sticky” brand. My focus is on understanding and analyzing your dilemmas and challenges, so your company becomes profitable faster.
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