If you think are you aren’t susceptible to denial, you’re in denial. It’s a difficult thing to manage, compared to simple lying, because much of denial can be unconscious and, as a result, more difficult to recognize and change. But, change we must, because denial prevents us from seeing and addressing critical issues that could greatly affect outcomes, both personally and professionally.
I find that, except for the news, we favor positive circumstances and sometimes deny challenges. We “see what we want to see” by checking the stock market or the score of the game only when we’re ahead. We look for positive weather forecasts and focus on the great things about our kids. This type of tunnel vision can make it hard to see the whole picture. It can also affect decision-making in cases where positive bias greatly alters assessments.
Psychologically, denial is a mechanism that results from the inability to cope with reality. However, there is an immutable fact about denial: it does not work as a long-term problem-solving mechanism. Reality always wins. And when it does, the next step in the process is blame, which shifts responsibility onto someone or something else. Blame eases the pain when reality bites. But, we need to take ownership of our actions and recognize that if we work to avoid bias and denial, we can often avoid having to face a harsh reality down the road.
Bias is one of the greatest deterrents of accurate scientific analysis. I also believe social bias can be more impactful than statistical. These include our preconceived perceptions and assumptions. I am always amazed that many programmed employee selection tools outperform interviews, especially in jobs requiring specific skills. Similarly, the perceptions of many presentations are established in the first minute or so.
Cultural and environmental factors also affect bias. Dress, demographics, weather, location, and culture all affect perceptions in the decision-making process. These can also be used to your advantage when talking to colleagues by increasing bonding with similar people. Whenever I meet someone who is also from the Southside of Chicago like I am, agreement on differences becomes much easier.
Denial is more prone to happen when there is more complexity and variables involved in a situation. Our brains try to counter this by attempting to create simplicity. Once we understand that this is what is happening, we can use to our advantage. For example, we all know simplicity can help decision making by prioritizing, focusing, and pursuing clear goals. On the other hand, we need to consider multiple factors like rewards, probability, environment, resources etc. in making our decisions. Here are some examples where the two strategies can be complementary:
The 80-20 rule (which states 80% of results are from 20% of effort) calls for focus to be more important than ever. Eliminating unproductive efforts is the most important aspect of the 80-20 rule.
More data, variables, and analysis are generally good, but it must be useful, valid, and correct. For example, if you are measuring an outcome, pinpoint the important factors rather than trying to measure everything. In particular, you should be careful to avoid random relationships and misinterpreting cause and effect. For instance, pre-pandemic data may be less relevant than before.
Most efforts have multiple goals like sales, growth, profit, quality, good will, satisfaction, etc. What is the priority and importance of these goals and how are you measuring them? Personally, I am always battling writing long blogs that are intellectually interesting versus short practical blogs with specific recommendations.
There are tradeoffs among innovation, experience, excellence, risk, and quality. Quite simply, the more innovation you pursue, the more trial and error. In contrast, you want experience and quality if you are doing things like open-heart surgery.
Denial reduction can also be affected by our attitudes and mood. Don’t underestimate the benefits of just taking a break or getting enough sleep in developing a more realistic approach. One of the side effects of working from home may be an endless workday and a lack of distractions, which provides no time to relax and reenergize.
Balancing simple and complex tasks can be improved by focusing on your strengths and paying less attention to your weaknesses. For example, I have a client who has the best product in the industry, but charges a little more money. She has achieved success by moderating some prices, but mostly developing messages that explain her quality difference.
Don’t underestimate intuition, which is quite different from denial. While we continually get more data to make better decisions, we should not forget our gut feelings. Someone does win the lottery and some of the best outcomes come from low probability efforts. For example, the pandemic has caused great uncertainty about 2022 and there are lots of opportunities to take a little more risk.
The use of virtual rather than rigid models can help deal with complex issues. They are easier to understand, diagnose errors, and manage multiple situations. In general, we are moving towards more flexibility in decision-making.
Openness can also facilitate avoiding denial. Organizations need to be open to measurement and feedback. Observing, understanding, and sharing financials, operations reports, and sales reports are the first step. Simple research tools that social media can provide can be used regularly. A management style such as the “walk around” and asking simply, “how are you doing, is there anything you need?” can be priceless. Look for alternatives and ‘what if’ discussions.
We all experience denial, but it is our responsibility to admit when we’re allowing our own biases to influence us or giving in to our brain’s desire to simplify complex issues. Therefore, we must constantly work to develop safeguards that will help recognize, test, and avoid denial. Because when we can see the full picture clearly, we are able to react and respond in the most effective way.
If we didn’t realize it before, the pandemic certainly proved how important human connections truly are. As social creatures, we thrive on interaction with our peers. So, it is no surprise that many of us struggled personally and professionally while unable to connect with family, friends, colleagues, and coworkers for an extended period of time. However, with vaccinations helping to increase our ability to see each other once again, one of the biggest opportunities we are presented with is the potential to reconnect and start new connections.
We need to consider just how much the last couple of years distanced us from others, aim to accept and adapt to the things that have changed, and actively work to rekindle existing relationships while continuing to build new ones. For example, offices are reopening and we need to understand the pace and extent of the reopening. Water cooler jokes may be obsolete, but connecting via Zoom will probably be here for the long-term.
So, what can you do in this new norm to adjust in order to foster worthwhile and effective connections? This should not be a sophisticated analytical exercise. Instead, I suggest simpler and, sometimes, known recommendations that can be quickly adapted:
Small moments make a difference. Saying please and thank you go a long way. Asking, “how are you?” (and truly listening to the response) can really benefit a conversation.
Be brief. Keep things simple whenever possible. And, when creating a presentation, try cutting it in half… then cut it in half again! It’s better to keep people wanting more.
Make a meaningful impression. Did you know that 90% of most impressions are made in the first 30 seconds of contact, and they are not based on the substance of the communication? Make those 30 seconds count.
Utilize facial expressions and body language. Your eyes, mouth, brows, and other facial features can reveal more than what you say. These clues give professionals better effectiveness in meetings. Especially with the rise of virtual interactions, it’s helpful to be more expressive in order to convey your meaning and/or attitude.
Interpersonal trust. Invest in building personal trust and developing richer sensory experiences that help cultivate connections. For example, our sense of touch (like when we shake hands) conveys emotions that can greatly enhance our communications.
Develop and use new communication tools and don’t depend on PowerPoint. It is among the most overused current communication tool and it ignores the needs of the audience. There is nothing worse than having the lights go out and sitting through a 30-60 minute canned, slick, PowerPoint sales presentation. Instead, aim to create a presentation that engages and interacts with your audience.
Understand and respect colleagues, clients, and competition. Asking questions is one of the best ways to gain a better understanding of someone else’s experience. Additionally, when reviewing your service offering or considering new ideas, try asking yourself what customers are currently using and how your product or service is better? In other words, why should customers choose you? Genuinely knowing your customers will help you answer these questions.
Recognize the benefits and strengths we learned from video and virtual communication. Workers are becoming increasingly comfortable using video and audio-conferencing technology. Companies are acknowledging and accepting the benefits of online meetings, such as greater reach and efficiency. Use these to your advantage.
Focus on engagement. Distractions continue to be a challenge, but they aren’t a result of technological limitations. The solution is actually in the way we run meetings. With enhanced visibility, live chat, polls, surveys, and even sub-conferencing features, guests can easily ask questions, gain clarity, brainstorm, and collaborate together. It’s just a matter of finding what works best for your meetings.
A great presentation relies on several different aspects. It’s not just about the words you say or the images you show. The entire experience plays a part in how much the audience retains or feels inspired. People can become preoccupied with the environment of the meeting. Communication, lighting, room temperature, and other factors can ruin a connection. The easiest recommendation to improve audience connection is with food. We all know what it’s like to get hungry, bored, and distracted, especially in long sessions. Taking breaks and offering snacks can reduce boredom and fatigue.
Interpersonal connections are the glue holding together our social circles, our business networks, and our company cultures. When we put in the work to maintain existing relationships and strive to establish new connections in a healthy, respectful, and effective manner, our lives and businesses are better off for it. While some people may have grown distant over the last couple ears, there are always ways to reach out and revive these connections. Great opportunities often arise from those we know. And when we are all looking out for one another, rooting for each other, and helping one another succeed, that’s when we know we’ve truly cultivated valuable and genuine connections.
Dr. Bert Shlensky, President of www.startupconnection.net, offers experience, skills, and a team devoted to developing and executing winning strategies. We guide your plans for business success and unlock your profits. Our strategy includes clear steps, and over 150 free articles and templates to facilitate your efforts and guide your process. We’re here to help you get on track and stay there as you move forward.
We welcome comments, suggestions, and questions. You can write us at: bshlensky@startupconnection.net or call at 914-632-6977
Have you ever asked a question only to receive the dreaded, “Because I said so,” response? This is often a phrase repeated to children, but even adults are prone to hear things like, “Because this is the way we’ve always done it.” If you’ve been on the receiving end of these statements, you know that they are never satisfactory explanations to questions. They’re a cop out—a way to evade the underlying issues and, perhaps, an unintentional admission of one’s fear of change or refusal to embrace innovation. And, that is exactly how we get stuck in patterns that don’t work within systems that are unwilling to adopt new structural paradigms—even when it’s the obvious answer.
Many people, myself included, have been writing on this topic for 5-10 years—reiterating time and again that our economy is dramatically changing and many analysts are ignoring the consequences. What is even more perplexing is that we continue to ignore some proven models of success.Several years ago, Walter Isaacson wrote in The Innovators about the impact of technology, the digital computer, and Internet revolution. These trends have only accelerated in recent years. One of the most interesting themes is the commitment, diversity, collaboration, and even friction, among diverse participants in almost every phase of the revolution, such as Jobs and Wozniak or Gates and Allen.
The results of this technological shift are evident in a comparison of stock performance of traditional companies versus newer tech companies. The stocks of P&G, I.B.M., G.E., Coca Cola, Dupont, and AT&T have DECLINED an average of 8% annually over the last 5 years. In contrast, the price growth of companies like Google, Facebook, Apple, and Amazon has increased at a rate of 24% annually. This trend is also evidenced by G.E. and other huge companies’ recent decision to dissolve their outdated structure.
To put that in perspective: investing $100,000 in the traditional companies 5 years ago, would be worth about $66,000 today. Investing $100,000 in the tech companies 5 years ago would be worth about $300,000 today.
Financial advisors also seem to be reluctant to embrace this shift. For example, much of their discussions focus on bonds versus stocks rather than tech stocks versus industrial or value stocks.
It’s really no surprise that so many businesses are failing considering both society and business refuse to recognize that old paradigms and structures are already obsolete or are well on their way. For example:
Large corporate structures (like print publications and brick and mortar retailers) are all gradual losers, or worse.
Companies as well as society continue to do what they have done in the past, often with poor results. Despite massive economic and political efforts, issues like income inequality, healthcare, and infrastructure investment will continue to hold back our economy.
With little real attention to these changing trends, the poor performance of many organizations is virtually a given.
Even more distressing is that it’s the structural paradigms of these organizations producing much of the deficient results, rather than the typical financial discussions. For instance, the long-held propositions that business advantages, like economies of scale and utilizing expertise and marketing synergies, are simply false in many cases. Rather, these and other former industry leaders are failing because of the following limitations:
Many large companies have tunnel vision, organizational constraints, etc., and ignore emerging technologies and opportunities.
They lack the flexibility to respond to the needs of the market and use outdated solutions to new problems.
They fail to allow the vision, entrepreneurship, and risk necessary to succeed, while heaping huge income growth on unproductive leaders.
In contrast, new structural paradigms are providing numerous opportunities for successful change:
The success of smaller, more innovative companies shows that many organizations should get smaller (or act smaller) in order to effectively deal with today’s environment.
Reducing layers and creating professional cultures are a start. Boards and management need to split up organizations like G.E., create spinoffs, or implement more independent groups. That may be what’s really necessary to maximize the potential of both individuals and organizations.
Large organizations say they want excellence, entrepreneurship, innovation, risk-takers, etc., but, really, they tend to encourage mediocrity. For example, short-term goals and reviews for both organizations and individuals actually inhibit the development of more positive cultural characteristics, rather than spur them on.
Testing and failure, which are critical parts of innovation, are punished more than rewarded. Even sound risk-taking is reduced because of the fear of repercussions within the organization. In short, organizations frequently ignore the advice, “you can’t score if you don’t take a shot.”
Organizations need to be open to measurement and feedback. Looking, understanding, and sharing financials, operations reports, and sales reports are the first step towards embracing new structural paradigms. Simple research studies, social media, and other devices are additional tools.
Open systems and collaboration are like winning the trifecta at the horse track. Open systems have been around for a long time but are becoming the norm for success. They reject bureaucracy, authority, hierarchy, and closed decision-making processes. They encourage participation, diversity, new rules, and to some extent, chaos.
These new structural paradigms, cooperation, smaller can be better, and open collaborative systems, offer great hope for organizations. While they rely on innovative approaches to problems, the solutions are readily available. Therefore, once we acknowledge that different strategies are needed, we can implement new tactics, provide opportunity and education, and allow our organizations to be effective.
I strenuously argue that if we do not learn to accept and accommodate innovation and deviant behavior both inside and outside of organizations, we cannot change or achieve excellence.
“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.” —Stephen R. Covey
We’ve all been guilty of it at one point or another. We get so caught up in thinking about what we’re going to say next, that we fail to listen to what is being said. But, when we don’t work on being a better listener, we rob ourselves of the opportunity to connect with others, gain valuable information, and truly engage in the conversation. So many miscommunications result from a failure to be a good listener and really take in what is being said.
Meanwhile, most of us consider ourselves to be good listeners, when in reality, we could all probably benefit from improving our listening skills. And, acknowledging that we need to be a better listener is the first step.
Here are some examples of how poor listening occurs:
There is no question that there is more communication than ever today and that listening requires more attention, and prioritization. Many of us receive some combination of more than 100 emails, 2-3 hours of TV, 3-5 hours of interaction with a computer, read numerous books, magazines, blogs, and other papers, 1-2 hours of phone conversations, 1-2 hours with social media, 1-2 hours of podcasts, 2-3 hours of meetings, and even a little social time with our family and friends. It’s a lot to take in. How much do we hear and actually take in?
There is no escaping the fact that biases affect our attitudes and perceptions of individuals and information. While it is frequently associated with demographics, it is really much more pervasive. Aware of the fact that preconceived notions (either of a person or the content being discussed) have a dramatic effect on audience members’ understanding and acceptance of information, many presenters work to actively create positive perceptions.
One of the most significant aspects affecting listening is our perception of information. For example, I believe people don’t take enough risk. How much freedom do you allow innovative people to break rules? When do you provide support versus challenging subordinates and colleagues? While there may be analytical solutions to some of these, our predispositions are frequently more important in determining how we respond. Instead of asking questions, being a better listener, and learning more about an unconventional idea, we respond with resistance, usually because it feels safer than taking a chance.
The parameters of listening are constantly changing. New tools like Zoom, targeting, social media, etc. are constantly evolving while old ones decline. I am an original AOL customer who received a disk in the mail (how many of you even remember that?) and am in panic that AOL may cease to exist. However, that creates some great opportunities for companies who want to make mostly older customers feel comfortable—that is, if they’re listening to those concerns.
People love to talk, but hate to listen. Becoming a better listener is not merely not talking (though even that is beyond most of our powers); it means taking a vigorous human interest in what is being said. You can listen like a blank wall or like a splendid auditorium where every sound comes back fuller and richer.
We frequently debate the validity, objectivity, and bias of ineffective listening. However, simply recognizing its existence and making an effort to understand how we can improve is more important. We need to consider the problems and develop solutions.
Want to be a better listener and communicator? Try some of these suggestions:
Repeat back what you think you heard. This tactic gives the speaker the chance to repeat themselves if you misheard.
Follow Internet courtesy and practices. What we hear is greatly affected by the nature of the communication. Sending inappropriate emails by mistake is not a good practice, but happens all the time. Be courteous and brief. Target the right people and sites. YouTube, Facebook, and LinkedIn have quite different audiences and impacts. Ensure recipients are getting messages rather than creating spam or complex links.
Keep things interesting. In general, the audience, whether on the Internet or in person, forms its perceptions of a presentation in the first 90 seconds. As an admitted nerd, my presentations can be a little statistic heavy, which can translate as boring. Thus, I try to improve audience reception through tools like editors, comedy, stories, and pictures.
Keep the audience comfortable. Environmental issues can be the most ignored factor in communication. Licensing agreements, celebrity endorsements, and great environments are all designed to make the audience comfortable with presentations. Frequently, seminars are created with crowded schedules to justify the expense of taking people away from work. However, a poor technical speaker at 1:30 p.m. in an over extended morning session or at 5:30 p.m. after an all day session is most likely going to be ineffective. Research shows that serving food and not being the last presenter help to improve the impression you make on your audience. At one company, we had a motto for our presentations and meetings: “FOOD WORKS.” Fruit and penny candy are truly unheralded aids in making a great presentation.
Try to create a “WIN-WIN” environment when communicating. We all know positive feedback is received more favorably and, yet, we revert to criticism, blame, and a one-upping mentality in pressure situations. We seem to follow the common TV format of adversarial commentators that frequently provide more confusion than resolution. Try to keep things positive, constructive, and remember to strive for compromise.
The value of being a better listener is undeniable. It’s a skill and skills require practice and development. Understanding the purpose, content, and importance of communication can also help you improve outcomes. Because, let’s face it, communication is the key to a lot of things including relationships, business, and success.
Dr. Bert Shlensky, President of www.startupconnection.net, offers experience, skills, and a team devoted to developing and executing winning strategies. We guide your plans for business success and unlock your profits. Our process includes clear steps, and over 150 free articles and templates to facilitate your efforts and guide your process. We’re here to help you get on track and stay there as you move forward. We welcome comments, suggestions, and questions. You can write us at: bshlensky@startupconnection.net or call at 914-632-6977
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